Iranian Attacks: Biden Strikes Back with 'Decadence from Hell' - Iran on it's Heels

Breaking News: Iran Warns It Will Retaliate After Biden Says He's Decided How To Respond To Killing Of 3 U.S. Soldiers

Update: This article was written hours before any strikes were taken by U.S. against Iran on 2/2 and 2/3/2024 -- that was a real surprise.

After the latest attacks from Iran backed terrorists on U.S. bases, President Biden has told Iran "he's decided how to respond to the killing of 3 U.S. soldiers."

Now, across the nation, the suspense is killing all of us -- however no movement anywhere has been reported on US bases or Navy carrier strike groups.

The lights are off at the White House.

What does President Biden possibly have up his sleeve?

What has he decided?

Bookies in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, and even thousands of miles away in Abu Dhabi are now taking bets as the world sits on pins and needles wondering what is President Biden capable of?

After all, this is the President that looks directly at the cameras and has only one word to say to the powerful dictators of the world, "Don't."

But is the President finally, once and for all, going to take decisive action and protect our nation?

Just today, in the Oval Office, President Biden, with a gleam in his eye and stroking his cat, says to top officials from the Pentagon, "What shall we do?... What shall we do indeed? Tell me General, what do they fear the most in Iran?"

"Mr. President, they do not fear death. These are fanatical Islamic followers. For them death is martyrdom. What they truly fear is the decadence of the West. They fear that it will corrupt their children and women. Homosexuality sir, it's a grievous sin, just as it is for Christians here. Over there it would surely bring the greatest amount of terror and grief should you somehow find a way to reach their citizens. The greatest Ayatollahs would roll over in their graves sir."

President Biden's eyes light up. "Good, gosh. Their greatest fear is our greatest weapon. We've got that in spades."

"You mean rainbows sir -- we've got that in rainbows. We're not supposed to use the word spades anymore. Not since woke."

A Pentagon advisor says, "Mr. President, our hackers can take down their television networks and we can pump our own television content right into their living rooms and offices. I'm talking about re-runs of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Brokeback Mountain and maybe music videos from Elton John, Boy George and the Culture Club. It's a page right out of Guantanamo Bay, sir. And if they have smart TVs we can even turn up the volume -- make them hear it at full blast. Maybe one of those R-rated love scenes from a gay soap opera or even Ru Paul's Drag Queens. It'll drive them crazy, mad in the streets. If we pull this off, sir, you will be the talk of every town over there."

"Loved in America, hated in the Middle East -- I can win an election with that," Biden says triumphantly. A moment later his eyes light up again. He says, "Our troops -- can we put together a single full gay battalion, I'm talking the gayest of the gay -- real flamers? We'll parachute them in and drop them right on top of the Iranians."

The General clears his throat, he says, "Not a good idea, sir. We'd take too many losses. They're not really suited for combat duty. We better stick with the television hack."